Interview with Fae

After interviewing Felix, I put out a call on Twitter that I wanted to interview other Trans and Gender Non-Conforming coffee peeps that were protesting and were willing to share about their experience. I got a few people that were willing to give me their time and energy to answering my questions and one of those was Fae. They have requested to remain anonymous (aside from what they’ve given below) since they are still very much involved and I completely respect their privacy.

Tell me a little about yourself. 
Hey, this is Fae and I use they/them pronouns. I have been protesting in the Seattle area and I am a barista here. I am lucky to work for a wonderful company that understands and supports the protests and the BLM movement in general. I am new-ish to the area and come from a small midwestern town so it has been a huge adjustment moving to such a welcoming, inclusive, and accepting city. 

So, you’ve been involved with the protests going on. Can you tell me what you did/are currently doing?
The day that George Floyd’s death was televised I knew that I could no longer be silent on the way our country is run. I had been vocal about supporting BLM in the past and had spoken out about being anti-racist and the changes we, as a country, needed to make but coming from the midwest my voice was often heard as being “radical” and was swept under the rug. Being somewhere with thousands of voices echoing the cries of the marginalized and oppressed made me find the strength to finally do more than simply talk about the issues at hand. I participated in protests every day for the first three weeks. I was usually on the front line and over time had to acquire full riot gear of my own for defensive purposes. Eventually, due to personal chronic illnesses and excessive inhalation of tear gas, I had to stop being on the front lines and started focusing my energies to sharing information and resources online.

How did you get involved? By yourself, with a group, met people along the way, etc.
I had loosely been involved prior to the protests with donations to BLM and open discussions educating people on the history of systemic racism and providing tools for self education on anti-racism but it was not until George Floyd’s death sparked protests across the country that I really got hands-on in my involvement. I made the decision to participate on my own and my partner decided to join me the day of the first protest because they realized that now was not the time to be petrified into silence. We participated in the protests for a few weeks and, when CHOP/CHAZ was born, we divided our time up between protesting, engaging with organizers and speakers, and donating what we could to the activists holding down the precinct.

What was your experience like out there? How does that compare with how people are talking/writing about it on the news and social media?
My experience was…unfortunately, what I had expected. Our country has a long standing history of attempting to silence those that speak out against oppression within our own governing forces. We are indoctrinated from such an early age to believe that this is the greatest country in the world and that we all have the freedom to do whatever we want with our lives and when someone looks past those falsities and promises to recognize the broken shambles of freedom that we are presented with, it becomes problematic to the entire structure of this country.

During the first two weeks of the protests, I was tear gassed, maced, and shot with rubber bullets. Even when I was not on the frontline, my neighborhood was caught in the crossfire and I was gassed in my own home. The police claimed to use de-escalation techniques but they were out there day and night in full riot gear in a vain attempt to intimidate protesters into silencing their voices. Protesters would cry out for the officers to remove their gear, to go home for the night, to join the protests, and to really do anything at all to show that their words were not empty and that they truly did want to protect and serve their community. Their actions spoke so much louder than their words. My fear of the police has not diminished during these protests, instead it has been amplified and joined by anger.

The mainstream media seemed confused as to how it wanted to portray the protests, particularly once Trump started to tweet out to Seattle. On one hand, the media understands that sensationalizing and fear mongering is what often leads to viewership, but on the other hand…most media did not want to appeal to right-wing extremists or be seen as being supportive of Trump. The representation of the protests varies greatly depending on what news source you turn to. One incident can look like 20 different things depending on what angle it was photographed and what article is attached to it. It is disheartening to say the least. 

Social media has proven to be a critical asset to the BLM movement and to protester correspondence. I found that it was easier to find accurate information and first hand experience on social media in contrast to the mainstream media. Even now, when I am primarily participating from the background, social media is one of the main ways I interact and inform myself on the ongoing protests. It has been a wealth of knowledge for me, and hopefully many others, to tap into. 

What is interesting is the differences in perception of the protests. I try to follow trending hashtags and topics online and there appear to be three different types of people in the current political climate: BLM protesters and supporters, right-wing extremist Trump supporters, and those that believe racism is dead by “not seeing color”. It truly seems as if we are not all living in the same reality. 

How have things changed day-to-day?
I have been attempting to keep a log of the progress of the protests, local legislation, and current events. There is so much mixed messages online that it is easy to get lost in the noise. The media has, for the most part, stopped reporting on the protests unless there is property damage so a lot of people seem to think that the anger behind them was unjustified and short lived. It amazes me how many people do not recognize that the protests are still ongoing and that there is evidence of tremendous oppression and systemic racism in our country. 

My day to day has primarily changed in how I interact with people. I no longer find myself willing to accept silence as an option and I have injured many of my familial relationships with my “political” viewpoints on these issues. I find myself noticing things more often in the media I consume and going out of my way to properly educate myself and consume media that better represents the direction I hope that this country takes. I have been trying to support more BIPOC artists, entrepreneurs, advocates, organizations, and etc. 

Do you see any similarities between your work in coffee and protesting? 
The coffee industry is very new to me. Coming from a small midwestern town, there was not a lot of coffee culture in my life. I used to get excited if I saw a Starb*cks. From the few years that I have spent in the craft coffee industry I have noticed that it is a predominantly cis hetero white male industry. I find it odd that so much of the process of making coffee is done by POC and yet those that are in the public eye…are incredibly white. This has become more clear to me during my time protesting because I realized that the changes that need to be made in this country are more than just policing or government changes. Our entire society has been whitewashed and it has become so normalized that many of us are unable or unwilling to recognize it as anything besides standard. 

What safety measures did you take to protect yourself from the police, feds (if applicable), and Covid?
As someone with chronic illnesses, I was already very paranoid due to COVID. I had debated not attending the protests due to quarantine but inevitably realized that systemic change was more pressing and it was something that I was willing to die fighting for. I initially only took small precautions at the protests. I wore a mask due to COVID, I wore all black for anonymity, and I made sure to bring sanitizer and a fresh water bottle. 
As the protests wore on my concerns in protection derailed from COVID into protection from officers, legalities, and the feds. I invested in goggles to help with tear gas and mace. I invested in a gas mask to help with tear gas. I started wearing long sleeves to cover up any identifiable markings. I made sure to take indirect routes from my house. I changed my social media presence. I realized that this was going to be a very long process and that it was likely going to get a lot worse before it got any better. 

Biggest takeaway from what you’ve seen and experienced protesting?
I have a lot more privilege in this country than I had been raised to recognize and being able to admit that is not a fault. It takes time and effort to unlearn indoctrination, especially something that is so ingrained into nearly every asset of our lives. I recognize now that simply not being racist is not enough and that I need to do more with my privilege to listen to, engage with, and help lift the BIPOC voices that are being silenced in our country. I need to educate myself and not be afraid of admitting my privilege and ignorance in the systems of oppression I have benefited from. Silence is not an option when so many people are not allowed to speak. 
I have also learned that it is not my place to say how another person should protest. It is easy to ask for things to remain “peaceful” when you are not the one at the root of the suffering. Historically, being “peaceful” is a great way to be silenced and ignored. I now recognize that “riots”, “looters”, and “arsonists” are all words that are used to discredit the anger at the source of the action. Property should not matter more than people and yet it is only when there is a financial implication that the media and government seem to pay attention. 

I hope that this country, and the citizens within, can push past pride and work towards enlightenment and acceptance of the changes that need to be made in order to rectify the outstanding years of oppression and damages that have been done. We need to listen to the firsthand experiences of those that are being impacted by these systems of oppression and highlight their voices. We need to do better. 

Thank you so much, Fae, for sharing your story and loved every word. If you want to share your experience with me, you can find my email address in the About page above and we can set something up. Stay safe out there, peeps.

Interview with Felix Tran

While it is in my bio, I don’t tend to talk about it on the blog but I live in Portland, Oregon. As Black Lives Matter protests have erupted all over the country, I struggled with posting on here because I didn’t know how to discuss what was going on in our country without writing whole articles just on that even though it didn’t necessarily relate to being non-binary or working in coffee. 

[[[Important note: Black Lives Matter, police brutality, and racism is deeply engrained in the US, and the world, and affects every part of life, including the coffee industry. It does relate to the coffee industry, as it does every other industry because so many systems of modern society are plagued by institutional racism and systemic violence against BIPOC people. What I mean in the above statement is that I, as a queer, white coffee blogger did not know how to write about these topics in a way that did not feel forced or like I was trying to talk over those who were already calling out these issues in the coffee world. While I did not write about it, I was actively searching for ways to call attention to these issues that was helpful and not performative.]]]

But, as it always does, the coffee world and the baristas I love continue to surprise me. I saw and talked to friends protesting in Los Angeles, Seattle, New York, Portland, and more. Including some who were utilizing both their voice and coffee skills by serving coffee to protesters. 

Enter one of my favorite people, Felix Tran. 

I got to sit down with him virtually and talk about his experience protesting and serving coffee during the protests in Seattle, Washington recently. 

Hello! So, want to start off by introducing yourself?

Yes, I am Felix Tran. I use he/they pronouns. I’m based in Seattle and, right now, I do freelance barista work and freelance digital work like illustrations and graphic design.

Cool. So, you were involved with the protests going on. Can you tell me what you did with all that?

Yeah, for sure. Luckily, I have a platform, called CoffeeAtLarge, and a follower reached out and wanted to support the Seattle protest scene around the time that people were protesting daily and they were staying overnight. We wanted to figure out a way to provide food, water, and caffeine to folks who were protesting so that we could fuel protestors all day, every day. That was the goal, to keep protestors out every single day until demands were met. To keep the momentum going. So, we reached out to local Seattle coffee shops and coffee companies, asked for donations, got a bunch of cups, and we got a bunch of coffee. We were able to provide water, food, and drinks and because we were literally on 11th and Pine where the protests were happening, we were able to see what was going on on the ground. Gather information, on ops, on movement, on what was going on that was shady. That was our involvement.

What did the day-to-day look like? As far as your personal life, protesting, and everything else going on?

I am a person of a lot of privilege. I am light-skinned, I come from a middle-class family, I also grew up in NorCal/Central California, and I just come from a lot of privilege so when I’m pretty sure Black folks have experienced this trauma and are still grieving which is not fair. For me, seeing how many Black folks were getting killed by the cops every single week was taking a toll. And we all sort of erupted, like, “fuck this shit,” and saying that we were upset about it. So, I abandoned my personal life and I think most Seattle protestors did because it’s like, “Fuck this, I’ve been complicit in this. How can I use my emotional capacity to make a change because Black folks can’t step away from the death of other Black folks?” They like literally see it and are retraumatized over it every day. So, for me, a person of color who has a lot of privilege, I can step away if I need. If I wanted to, I could remove myself and emotionally separate. So, me and a lot of others decided to abandon our emotional capacity and our personal lives to dedicate ourselves to keeping the momentum going. 

It’s easy to read about it but, zooming out, what was your experience like? Like what did you see, how did you feel about all of it?

It’s so interesting to see when the cops left the place that we were protesting in. It was called CHOP, but there were a lot of different names for it. There was CHAZ, CHOP, and then like some other names but it was interesting seeing folks comment on CHOP and news articles writing about what our experience was. Like most of them were wrong. Most of the people did not have a good understanding of what was going on in Seattle. A lot of people had opinions about that space. Folks were getting killed in drive-by shootings and a lot of people on Twitter, who were white supremacists, were saying that folks deserved to die. These are people, you know? It was very upsetting to see people comment on our experience and most of the time it wasn’t true. It was really weird, seeing that.

So, the first day that protests happened, it started in Westlake and that’s where all the really intense photos were from like the cars burning. And we were just trying to march, and eventually, we tried pushing forward and then we were tear-gassed. We were pepper-sprayed and flashbangs were everywhere, and it was horrible. And honestly, that was my first protest so that was emotionally overwhelming but as you continue to go, that shit happens all the time. Like you get used to it. Well, you don’t get used to it but learn how to wear appropriate gear and handle pepper spray and tear gas.

How did things change during the days you were out there? Like messaging, morale, or like the organization of everything?

Oh my gosh, every day was so different! So, some days, the cops were just standing there and other days, like on the weekends, they would tear gas and push forward. The night before the cops left, they deployed so many flashbangs and destroyed stuff. So, it was honestly day-to-day, but protestors got better at organizing. The community leaders organized groups via Signal, Telegram, and we got better at keeping our identities anonymous because folks were getting arrested. 

I remember seeing you post about the difficulties transporting coffee and brewing large batches of coffee. Can you go into more depth about the hurdles and difficulties with giving out coffee at the protests?

I am fortunate that the company that I work for let me use the space whenever I wanted. I could brew coffee any time of the day, and, although people let us borrow their airpots that were much bigger, the thing is that every single day I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if my equipment is going to get destroyed, because our tables and tents had gotten destroyed before so I can’t put someone else’s stuff at risk because some of the folks wanted it back. And we were all volunteers. I was doing my best to organize, communicate, and keep track of everyone else’s stuff. 

I had twelve airpots and I would have to brew coffee every single morning and that took like three hours. I would then go to the protest area, find parking in that hell hole (which is Capital Hill), transport those twelve airpots to the table from my car, and then transport all that back to the car, and into the cafe, brew it all again, put it back in my car, bring it back to the protest area, and bring all the coffee back. 

It was just so much time for it all and I had to do it twice. So, I would hang around a little bit and then I would go home, but then once I was home, folks needed coffee again so I would have to drive back and do it all over again. And in the evenings, it would be even busier. The total time of me brewing coffee was probably 8 hours. The hardest part was just doing it every day and then brewing coffee and then lugging it all. Luckily, towards the end, I was able to get help. 

What was the response you got? Was it generally positive? Any resistance?

Mostly positive. In the beginning, it was really positive. It was great because I was out until like 2am every night protesting. Our goals and intentions were to fuel protestors but once the cops left, the area became very farmers market-y. A lot of people of privilege, so like white people, were out without masks treating it like a farmers market and hanging out. That was when we were like, “Okay, we aren’t here to serve these people coffee.” 

Rather than seeing a difference in reactions, it was more like a difference in people who were joining them. These were people who were here to see CHAZ, and “Oh my God, this is the autonomous zone.” 

Like being apart of the movement after the movement has kind of run its course.

Yeah.

How is handing out coffee at protests different from shop life? Like obviously it’s different but how?

Handing out coffee is different because we’re exposed to big groups of people. All of us are protesting because we all care about Black lives and, at the same time, we all don’t want to get Covid. The fear of getting Covid is so much higher, and people are careless and they’ve never worked in customer service so you are managing that and managing the system. When you work at a cafe, the people you work with know those systems and you have the right to refuse (which sucks and that’s a whole other problem). It’s hard because you are protesting but you are also trying to keep up with the changes and you are also trying to keep people safe in the middle of a pandemic. 

What were some of the protections you used to keep yourself safe during our not-so-lovely pandemic?

All of us wore masks. Like, you had to wear a mask and luckily, people donated masks so we gave out masks too. All the protestors were very down for that. You could tell who were protestors and who were not because protestors were like, “Yes, keep me safe.” We gave out free hand sanitizer, and before interacting with anyone you had to wear a mask, you have to accept this pump of hand sanitizer, and, if not, we won’t serve you. 

And, for us, we had hand sanitizer. Some people wanted to wear gloves, but I don’t believe in gloves because you aren’t sanitizing the gloves therefor when you touch a surface and then other things, you are spreading it. So, it’s better to just sanitize your hands. We had wipes too, so we could wipe down surfaces. It was a table, you know, so it was gross, but it was the best we could do. 

So, the last question, what is your biggest takeaway from this? How has your perspective changed before and after?

Before, I don’t think I felt empowered to protest and, now, I do. 

And, if anyone is scared of protesting, go with a person that knows how to and ask questions. You are not dumb for asking questions. Do research, and also find your community leaders and follow them. The best resources are on Twitter and Instagram. Honestly, don’t look it up on google. Find your community leaders on Twitter and Instagram. 

Stay educated and stop being dumb, a lot of people were being dumb. Like they were following ops and doing marches around, but you have to question the leaders. Whoever is leading the march, question who they are. Find out who they are and if they are a nobody, why are you following them? Be smarter, that’s what I’ve learned. Surround yourself with people you can trust and, if you are scared, at the end of the day it’s not about us it’s about Black lives. 

We had stopped the coffee tent because CHAZ was no longer there, and someone asked me if I was going to continue doing the table. I said, “No, we can go to a march or so many other proactive things you could do.” They said, “Oh, I just wanted to use my skillset for the movement” but it’s like, “Bitch, get out of here.” Their excuse was social anxiety and large crowds, and I get that, it’s valid, but also like imagine what a Black person feels. Like not to invalidate that person’s anxiety and pain, but maybe find a way to handle that and find something proactive. 

Also, like the march and the big protest in Seattle may be over now but like Portland’s still going on and it’s not that far of a drive. Come down here. Or there are plenty of other ways to help. 

Yeah, folks can donate their time. There are so many things folks can do!

Felix and I had a great talk about our individual cities, but, with the end of the interview, I did want to share some resources if you want to get involved (You really should. This is not a solo or even a tiny group effort.) You can sign petitions, donate, and, also, reach out to organizations to find out what they need while on the ground. Some of those links are to Portland specifically, but research groups in your area. 

Are you a coffee professional that has been out there making your voice heard and demanding change? I would love to share your story. Head over to my about page and drop me an email or Instagram message. I’ll be in touch with you soon!

*** This interview has been edited for grammar and length.