After interviewing Felix, I put out a call on Twitter that I wanted to interview other Trans and Gender Non-Conforming coffee peeps that were protesting and were willing to share about their experience. I got a few people that were willing to give me their time and energy to answering my questions and one of those was Fae. They have requested to remain anonymous (aside from what they’ve given below) since they are still very much involved and I completely respect their privacy.
Tell me a little about yourself.
Hey, this is Fae and I use they/them pronouns. I have been protesting in the Seattle area and I am a barista here. I am lucky to work for a wonderful company that understands and supports the protests and the BLM movement in general. I am new-ish to the area and come from a small midwestern town so it has been a huge adjustment moving to such a welcoming, inclusive, and accepting city.
So, you’ve been involved with the protests going on. Can you tell me what you did/are currently doing?
The day that George Floyd’s death was televised I knew that I could no longer be silent on the way our country is run. I had been vocal about supporting BLM in the past and had spoken out about being anti-racist and the changes we, as a country, needed to make but coming from the midwest my voice was often heard as being “radical” and was swept under the rug. Being somewhere with thousands of voices echoing the cries of the marginalized and oppressed made me find the strength to finally do more than simply talk about the issues at hand. I participated in protests every day for the first three weeks. I was usually on the front line and over time had to acquire full riot gear of my own for defensive purposes. Eventually, due to personal chronic illnesses and excessive inhalation of tear gas, I had to stop being on the front lines and started focusing my energies to sharing information and resources online.
How did you get involved? By yourself, with a group, met people along the way, etc.
I had loosely been involved prior to the protests with donations to BLM and open discussions educating people on the history of systemic racism and providing tools for self education on anti-racism but it was not until George Floyd’s death sparked protests across the country that I really got hands-on in my involvement. I made the decision to participate on my own and my partner decided to join me the day of the first protest because they realized that now was not the time to be petrified into silence. We participated in the protests for a few weeks and, when CHOP/CHAZ was born, we divided our time up between protesting, engaging with organizers and speakers, and donating what we could to the activists holding down the precinct.
What was your experience like out there? How does that compare with how people are talking/writing about it on the news and social media?
My experience was…unfortunately, what I had expected. Our country has a long standing history of attempting to silence those that speak out against oppression within our own governing forces. We are indoctrinated from such an early age to believe that this is the greatest country in the world and that we all have the freedom to do whatever we want with our lives and when someone looks past those falsities and promises to recognize the broken shambles of freedom that we are presented with, it becomes problematic to the entire structure of this country.
During the first two weeks of the protests, I was tear gassed, maced, and shot with rubber bullets. Even when I was not on the frontline, my neighborhood was caught in the crossfire and I was gassed in my own home. The police claimed to use de-escalation techniques but they were out there day and night in full riot gear in a vain attempt to intimidate protesters into silencing their voices. Protesters would cry out for the officers to remove their gear, to go home for the night, to join the protests, and to really do anything at all to show that their words were not empty and that they truly did want to protect and serve their community. Their actions spoke so much louder than their words. My fear of the police has not diminished during these protests, instead it has been amplified and joined by anger.
The mainstream media seemed confused as to how it wanted to portray the protests, particularly once Trump started to tweet out to Seattle. On one hand, the media understands that sensationalizing and fear mongering is what often leads to viewership, but on the other hand…most media did not want to appeal to right-wing extremists or be seen as being supportive of Trump. The representation of the protests varies greatly depending on what news source you turn to. One incident can look like 20 different things depending on what angle it was photographed and what article is attached to it. It is disheartening to say the least.
Social media has proven to be a critical asset to the BLM movement and to protester correspondence. I found that it was easier to find accurate information and first hand experience on social media in contrast to the mainstream media. Even now, when I am primarily participating from the background, social media is one of the main ways I interact and inform myself on the ongoing protests. It has been a wealth of knowledge for me, and hopefully many others, to tap into.
What is interesting is the differences in perception of the protests. I try to follow trending hashtags and topics online and there appear to be three different types of people in the current political climate: BLM protesters and supporters, right-wing extremist Trump supporters, and those that believe racism is dead by “not seeing color”. It truly seems as if we are not all living in the same reality.
How have things changed day-to-day?
I have been attempting to keep a log of the progress of the protests, local legislation, and current events. There is so much mixed messages online that it is easy to get lost in the noise. The media has, for the most part, stopped reporting on the protests unless there is property damage so a lot of people seem to think that the anger behind them was unjustified and short lived. It amazes me how many people do not recognize that the protests are still ongoing and that there is evidence of tremendous oppression and systemic racism in our country.
My day to day has primarily changed in how I interact with people. I no longer find myself willing to accept silence as an option and I have injured many of my familial relationships with my “political” viewpoints on these issues. I find myself noticing things more often in the media I consume and going out of my way to properly educate myself and consume media that better represents the direction I hope that this country takes. I have been trying to support more BIPOC artists, entrepreneurs, advocates, organizations, and etc.
Do you see any similarities between your work in coffee and protesting?
The coffee industry is very new to me. Coming from a small midwestern town, there was not a lot of coffee culture in my life. I used to get excited if I saw a Starb*cks. From the few years that I have spent in the craft coffee industry I have noticed that it is a predominantly cis hetero white male industry. I find it odd that so much of the process of making coffee is done by POC and yet those that are in the public eye…are incredibly white. This has become more clear to me during my time protesting because I realized that the changes that need to be made in this country are more than just policing or government changes. Our entire society has been whitewashed and it has become so normalized that many of us are unable or unwilling to recognize it as anything besides standard.
What safety measures did you take to protect yourself from the police, feds (if applicable), and Covid?
As someone with chronic illnesses, I was already very paranoid due to COVID. I had debated not attending the protests due to quarantine but inevitably realized that systemic change was more pressing and it was something that I was willing to die fighting for. I initially only took small precautions at the protests. I wore a mask due to COVID, I wore all black for anonymity, and I made sure to bring sanitizer and a fresh water bottle.
As the protests wore on my concerns in protection derailed from COVID into protection from officers, legalities, and the feds. I invested in goggles to help with tear gas and mace. I invested in a gas mask to help with tear gas. I started wearing long sleeves to cover up any identifiable markings. I made sure to take indirect routes from my house. I changed my social media presence. I realized that this was going to be a very long process and that it was likely going to get a lot worse before it got any better.
Biggest takeaway from what you’ve seen and experienced protesting?
I have a lot more privilege in this country than I had been raised to recognize and being able to admit that is not a fault. It takes time and effort to unlearn indoctrination, especially something that is so ingrained into nearly every asset of our lives. I recognize now that simply not being racist is not enough and that I need to do more with my privilege to listen to, engage with, and help lift the BIPOC voices that are being silenced in our country. I need to educate myself and not be afraid of admitting my privilege and ignorance in the systems of oppression I have benefited from. Silence is not an option when so many people are not allowed to speak.
I have also learned that it is not my place to say how another person should protest. It is easy to ask for things to remain “peaceful” when you are not the one at the root of the suffering. Historically, being “peaceful” is a great way to be silenced and ignored. I now recognize that “riots”, “looters”, and “arsonists” are all words that are used to discredit the anger at the source of the action. Property should not matter more than people and yet it is only when there is a financial implication that the media and government seem to pay attention.
I hope that this country, and the citizens within, can push past pride and work towards enlightenment and acceptance of the changes that need to be made in order to rectify the outstanding years of oppression and damages that have been done. We need to listen to the firsthand experiences of those that are being impacted by these systems of oppression and highlight their voices. We need to do better.
Thank you so much, Fae, for sharing your story and loved every word. If you want to share your experience with me, you can find my email address in the About page above and we can set something up. Stay safe out there, peeps.